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ATWT Discussion Group
Hi everybody! I need your help with a homework assignment. I need six life defining moment stories for a paper that needs to be done in two weeks. I have mine and my Grandpa's, so I need four more. They don't have to be long. I need to write them out and then compare and contrast life experiences. I don't need your exact age, but I do need to know what decade you are in (teens, 20's. 30's, etc).
To be fair, I'll tell you mine (which most of you know anyway). My life defining moment came a little over a year ago when my Mom was killed in a car accident. I was 13 1/2. Not only did I lose her, my family kind of fell apart emotionally (we're sloooowly finding our way out of that mess). I had to learn how to cook and care for my little sister and brother. I'm not a great cook, but I'm trying and I can follow a recipe (and nobody has gotten sick yet). As I read this, I don't want you to get the impression that I am great, because I am still a normal teenager and cause my dad to get really mad at me.... a lot.
Anyway, if some of you would help me out and tell me a story of a life-defining moment, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks!
Most defining moment for me was when my husband had a stroke at age 56. It was a nice Sunday afternoon. He was going to stop by his office and catch up on a few things and then go golfing. Instead he showed up at home babbling incoherently. I got him into the car and drove right to the emergency room and naively thought we'd be home that night after a shot or something. Hours later a nurse came to me, looked me in the eye and asked where my family was. I told her our kids and family were all living out of state. She asked if I had called the kids and I said I hadn't because I really don't know what to tell them. The nurse put her hands on my shoulders and said "Tell them they need to get here because their father has had a massive, life threatening brain hemorrhage". Then she asked me if I had eaten because now was a good time to go get something from the cafeteria. She asked me if I had any pets at home because now was a good time to call a neighbor to let the dog out and feed it. She was so matter of fact but EXACTLY what I needed at that time. I have no idea who she was or what her name is, but I will forever be grateful for her candor and kick in the pants.
I recall thinking a few years ago what a pain it was going to be to have my husband home all day once he retired. He'd be tagging around asking me "where are you going?" "What are you doing now?". Well, the day has come a little earlier than expected and I thank God every day he's here to bug me. He has recovered so well from the stroke but has been out of work on long term disability for almost 2 years. His problems are cognitive, not physical but he should eventually get back to some kind of job if he wishes.
So my defining moment was being knocked upside the ol' head by my husband's hemorrhage, stroke and subsequent brain surgery --- and realizing just how precious he is to me. He still makes me laugh!
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A life defining moment for me was when my dad was dying of cancer. Years before, when my mother became permanently disabled due to a stroke, I volunteered to care for her. What a big thing I was doing, I thought, to care for my mom. But really, not such a big sacrifice because I loved her. So it was easy. But then my dad was diagnosed and the true test of my character was challenged. My father was a cruel, abusive, sadistic man and I felt no love for him. I was w/in my right to abandon him because I owed him nothing. However, I didn't make that choice. All I saw was a scared human being who was suffering and would soon be leaving this earth. I didn't have to love him. But I did have compassion. And I let go of all the hate I felt for so many years. I was there for him. I was the one to tell him it was okay to let go. I even lied and told him what a great father he was, what a great husband he was, how much he was loved, that his life meant something, and all those things that any human being should hear....that he mattered. I did this...and this is the life defining moment here....because....I am not my father. My mother's love, not my father's cruelty, helped me to become the woman I am today.
A bit overdramatic, but that'll do I hope LOL
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Hey, Charlee! Did you father let you back on the board? Hope so!
I'm not really sure exactly what they mean by life defining. But if you're talking about the most dramtical and horrific, I certainly know that one right off.
After my father died (early 2006), my sister and I went through absolute hell. My daughter did too, but she's 200 miles away, and I didn't know she was having as much trouble coping with the death as we were. (I was almost 49 at the time.) But on top of that, and what almost killed us, was when we found out that our mother was dating someone else before Pa had been gone for 2 months. It totally changed our whole lives, probably more than Pa's passing did. We had known he was sick for a while, and while we weren't expecting it when it happened, we at least were somewhat prepared. But we were nowhere NEAR prepared for what my Ma threw at us. She married this man 9 months to the day after Pa died, and if we hadn't pitched such fits, she probably would have married him much sooner. Nobody else in our families had EVER gotten married again after someone died, and especially when they had been married for a couple months short of 50 years. It's only been the last couple months that my sister even started talking to my Ma again. And that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't talked to a psychic, and gotten a sort of different take on things. What she said made both of us feel better about what had happened. But it's still been probably the hardest thing we've both ever had to deal with.
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