Topic: Brooke like off subject post, i need some real insight
Topic Posted by: AKNotorious
Date Posted: Fri Nov 13 23:06:38 2009
Additional Comments: Ok i am a Brooke fan, so I can play wild and lose with the guys, being single, but not family members. Anyway, a lot of guys in our circle of people, make off color comments, sexually motivated, and in a joking way. Ok, I feel , lets talk about sex. If its not in a way I feel offended, i don't worry about it. I may reply in a sexual inuendo, but i always make my words for they guy, like it was presented to me. Ok I aint no saint, but I have this girlfriend, who every time a guy makes a comment like that it irritates her when I reply, she says I am demeaning myself, because I comment off color. She says that because I am in her company, they think I am loose, or Brooke like, obssessed with sex. But I feel if they can say stuff like that to me, I am obliged to reply in like manner, no grosser, but even keel. Sometimes I don't comment, but if I know the guy, and they joking, heck I joke back. Most of them have never took me up on my words, but we had an arguement, about it bothers her. Is she a slut in disguise, and my conversation scares her, because she thinks that the guys will find out what she is trying to hide. I can't figure out why she is upset because of my conversation with they guys, they don't offend me, hell men talk about sex pretty much 24 seven. They have surpassed women as supreme gossipers, and busy bodies talk wise? lol I appreciate all insight, you can compare Brooke or Taybore, thanks!!!
Posted by: ingyandbert Date posted: Tue Nov 17 22:30:14 2009
Message: Okay, you asked for feedback so I'll just call it like I see it: If you don't respect yourself, others will not respect you either. You teach people how to treat you through your own words and conduct. By responding to the inappropriate comments in that manner, you're teaching those men that it's okay to treat you with disrespect. And on top of that, it makes your friend uncomfortable. Do yourself and her both a favor and value yourself more than getting down to their level. Just because those men act classless doesn't mean you have to do likewise. JMHO.
Posted by: Villain-fan Date posted: Mon Nov 16 23:52:28 2009
Message: You don't seem to understand that men are especially prone to wishful thinking. If you look at a clock above a guy's head, he'll think you're flirting with him. You might know that you are joking, but they don't necessarily know that - even if you TELL them they might not believe it because they are usually in wishful thinking mode. So if people are telling you that what you say is embarrassing, it probably is. That doesn't mean an occasional off-color joke in mixed company is necessarily bad but there is a fine line and if you embarrass your female friends with your comments, you've probably gone too far.
Posted by: Zen Date posted: Sun Nov 15 7:58:50 2009
Message:
Sounds like you are embarrassing your friend. I don't know her and I don't know you, but IMO- if someone close to me told me my conduct was demeaning to myself- it would give me pause. I would really think about what I am saying, what I mean when I say it- and what those men are hearing. Those can be very different things. The conversations you are having with these guys may change how they perceive you- and not in a good way. Would you be ashamed of any of these conversations if someone very close to you or a family member overheard?
I don't know how old you are but if you were my sister, daughter, niece- I would tell you you are worth more than that. You may be cutting up and joking around- but people overhearing you might get the wrong idea. Your friend could be uncomfortable, she could be jealous- but I think she is really doing you a favor whether that is her intention or not.
