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Topic: In today's Dear Abby 5/12/08


Topic Posted by: Sparky
Date Posted: Mon May 12 16:19:02 2008
Additional Comments:

Here's the letter...

DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old woman. My fiance of five years, "Troy," and I live together and are the parents of a 5-month-old baby girl.

We have been going out recently to dance at our favorite club, but every time we go, Troy disappears and leaves me with his best friend -- sometimes up to five hours at a time.

The club has several stories, with many secluded nooks, so Troy is hard to find. When I finally locate him, he's sweaty and has a weird look on his face. When I ask where he was and why he disappeared, I get no answers.

His friend covers for him. My fiance and I have never had a night out without this guy coming with us, and I'm tired of Troy's disappearing act. Something is going on.

He calls me paranoid, but I think if you leave your fiancee every time you go out, something is not right.

Am I being paranoid? Or does he have someone stashed in the club waiting for him? By the way, I make most of the money and pay for the nights out. -- SUSPICIOUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Obviously something is up -- another woman, or possibly your fiance is using drugs -- and his best friend is there to make sure you don't find out. I hope you don't actually plan to marry this man, because he does not appear to be financially or emotionally ready for marriage. In fact, it appears he's happy as things are -- with you as his meal ticket.

However, to settle your curiosity, the next time you plan to go dancing, ask a girlfriend to come to the club separately and spend the evening tracking Troy. That should give you a clear picture of what has been going on behind the scenes.

==========

So, how many more times does her fiance have to disappear for 5 hours at a night club for her to dump the chump.  How respectful is he towards her that he would leave her in a multi-story club for 5 hours at a time?  And she thinks she wants to marry this loser?

To me, it isn't whether or not her fiance is using drugs or cheating on her.  It is about respect.  He doesn't treat her with respect. Why would she possibly want to volunteer for this for the rest of her life?

When we go out to karaoke, PB and Sensei will sometimes go into another room at the bar to smoke cigars and to pretend that they are Alan and Denny from Boston Legal.  Cigars take a loooooong time to smoke.  Even with that, PB comes by periodically to tell me some stupid joke.  I appreciate that he makes some face time for me during his male bonding time with Sensei.

For awhile, they would bring 2 cigars each. I didn't like that.  I told PB that was too long for him to be away from me while we're at the bar and that I missed him too much.  Since then, he has limited it to once cigar while we're at the bar.  That works for me.





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Posted by: Mandy
Date posted: Tue May 13 11:00:46 2008
Message:
Oh that poor baby...what an idiot she is.  This has happened how many times? 

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Posted by: AngD
Date posted: Tue May 13 9:52:07 2008
Message:
Uhmmmm....yeah.....that would have happened to me ONCE, and ONCE ONLY. . . .

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Posted by: Blondie
Date posted: Tue May 13 8:28:31 2008
Message:
My guess would be that there is a strip club or at least some cage or shadow dancing going on in that huge bar...hubby is probably grinding with some other women. Why would he have to come to this particular club to do drugs?  He's got somethin' goin' on with an employee or just likes "dancing" without his fiance around.  I would have asked her to maybe get somethin' goin' with the fiance's friend!

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Posted by: cc
Date posted: Mon May 12 20:08:56 2008
Message:

38 years old?  Holy cow.  Yeah, how does this happen more than one time?  OTOH, who is feeding the baby? 

I do know this much.........if I had a 5 month old & adequate child care for 5 hours, I would be taking a 5 hour nap.  Well, maybe a beer and a 4 hour 45 minute nap.    


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Posted by: misspm
Date posted: Mon May 12 19:59:11 2008
Message:

When you finally locate him (after five hours no less) he is sweaty and had a weird look on his face? 

Just leave Troy and stop trying to figure it out.

 


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Posted by: Anne
Date posted: Mon May 12 19:23:27 2008
Message:

I read this too, and thought she wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed!!!

 

"My fiance always has white powder under his nose, and tells me it's his special allergy medicine. Is this possible?"

LOL


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Posted by: Kat
Date posted: Mon May 12 19:15:27 2008
Message:

'Am I being paranoid?'

NO!!!!!!!!! You're being STOOPID! Dump that chump and move on!

Replies: (list all replies)

  • Ya know...I want to tell people unless they are a normally suspicious person....if someone tells you that you're being paranoid, it's not you. It's them.............................................Sparky

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    Posted by: Chewbacca
    Date posted: Mon May 12 18:27:57 2008
    Message:

    I think a call to CPS is in order. You shouldn't be out clubbing almost every night for up to five hours when you have a baby at home and the father may be a suspected drug user. Sounds like these two are following the Britney Spears method of parenting.

    Sadly, I think if this woman does ditch her fiance, she'd find another one just like him or even worse. I think the best thing to do is dump this guy, and get her priorities straight---like taking care of her child.


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    Posted by: Elizabeth
    Date posted: Mon May 12 17:42:06 2008
    Message:
    Honestly, all I care about these days is the care of children and these people are obviously not giving their ALL to their daughter. And probably much, much less than that. And the cycle continues...this kind of life is all this child will know..... Makes me sooo thankful for the way I was raised!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Posted by: susienews
    Date posted: Mon May 12 17:06:50 2008
    Message:

    Why, oh why has this woman been his fiancee for FIVE FRIGGING YEARS??  You'd think she'd have gotten the hint that he wasn't interested in actually marrying her after being engaged for just one.  But she's obviously not very bright if she's just now becoming "suspicious." 

    Clearly he's off doing something else - another woman or drugs.  I love Dear Abby letters like this that are too stupid for words.  "Dear Abby, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with my sister.  After he beat me senseless for not knocking, he proposed.  Of course, I said yes!  But his family has decided I'm a bad influence and don't want him anywhere near me, so he broke off our engagement and wants the ring back.  Should I be mad at my sister?"

    LMAO!

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • I was wondering the same thing. Maybe he doesn't really want to commit to her. Ya think?........................................Sparky

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    Posted by: enjee
    Date posted: Mon May 12 16:55:14 2008
    Message:
    I think they both ought to be at home taking care of their 5 month old baby.  It sounds like some growing up is in order. 

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    Posted by: ingyandbert
    Date posted: Mon May 12 16:53:34 2008
    Message:

    Something is going on.

    Ya think????? 

    And these people are allowed to procreate.

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • No kidding. cc

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    Posted by: ML
    Date posted: Mon May 12 16:53:29 2008
    Message:

    This letter made Mr. ML and me roll laughing yesterday morning...

    Wake up and SMELL the coffee...and check out his nose, while you're at it...


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    Posted by: Nicky
    Date posted: Mon May 12 16:26:18 2008
    Message:

    Who has time to club for over five hours when you have a five-month old?  

    Grow up!!!  would be my advice.  

    Nicky

    BTW - love the Denny/Alan references.     That show is one of my absolute favorites.   I never see WS as Captain Kirk anymore - unless Boston Legal make a reference to it!!!!   Those two make me want to have a scotch and a cigar (which I have enjoyed on occasion!)

     

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • And that's what they do. They go into the back room and drink Scotch and smoke cigars...and most likely pretend they are on the rooftop of the building. They enjoy this to the point that the bartender brings over the bottle of Scotch so they can hear the popping sound of the cork as she opens it to pour. LOL......................................Sparky

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