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Topic: Bully advice needed


Topic Posted by: Sandigal
Date Posted: Tue Mar 18 18:25:07 2008
Additional Comments:

First off, we've made it through almost three years of Elementary school without incident, so I count myself lucky.  This year however, there is a boy in Em's class who is really mean to her...the teacher is aware and she and I have helped Em cope with him successfully.

 

However, her teacher is now on maternity leave, and the sub is getting taken for a ride big time.  This kid has turned it on to Emily heavy, and today he tried to stab her with a pencil.  Now, I know kids are going to tease, and that's something she will have to deal with.  However, I don't think that she should have to be afraid of physical harm.  I asked her if she told the teacher, and she said yes, but she just told her to sit down.  Like she's lying or something.  So now...do I call the teacher?  Principal?  Or wait until after Easter break?  I don't want to let it go on too long, but I'm trying to be understanding of the sub who has only been there 2 weeks and is still overwhelmed.  (SHe looks like she's 10 years old..seriously!)...anybody have any ideas I can give Em to keep herself safe?  Or should I immediately go to the Principal? This is the same kid who threatened to break her glasses if she wore her Steelers shirt to school again.  Grr...





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Posted by: Fevuh
Date posted: Thu Mar 27 18:29:24 2008
Message:

Sandigal, I browsed on the Internet because I wanted to give you the exact site...it's:

http://www.bullypolice.org/

 

It has a state by state record of what laws are, and what your "grade" is, and I think it even lists what you can do to change things if you don't live in a "passing" state.  There are laws, and there are avenues for you to pursue to protect your child.  MOST people don't know this, but there are laws, and when faced with this, parents of the bullying child will usually do something to change their behavior. 

I hope this is helpful...

A friend in Virginia. 

 

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  • Thank you so much! I looked under the advice of what to do if you're child is being bullied..so far, I've done almost all of it...I just haven't been documenting anything. He hasn't left any marks on her yet, so I can't take pictures, but I will if the occasion arises. We're off school this week, so I'll see what happens next week. Thank you so much for taking the time to look this up for me!!! Sandigal

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    Posted by: Fevuh
    Date posted: Thu Mar 27 18:16:34 2008
    Message:

    Sandigal...I used to come here a long time ago, and I read your post and it totally struck a chord with me.

    Bully offenses are a state-by-state law.  Not to pry, but what state do you live in?   The reason I ask, is (this will sound bad, LOL), but I work with pageant girls.  One girl I know had a platform of Anti-bullying, and did alot of work in that area.  There are groups all around the country lobbying for state laws to protect children who are bullied.  Some laws protect children from "telling" on the bully - they will never be identified and are anonymous.  The best states protect both the children who may 'tattle', as well as school employees, teachers, administrators, from reporting a bully....because can you imagine the threat from some parents against someone who would tell on their 'angel' child....who is actually bullying other kids??  That's why laws to protect children who TELL, and teachers, administrators, other faculty....are really important.

    The state where you live is very important....

    Please browse on or try to find otherwise on the internet....

    bullypolice or bullypolice usa....try browsing for that, and I think there is alot of information about what you can do.  It could save the life of your child, and yes, it really is that bad at times. 

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  • Thanks! I live in Ohio..Sandigal

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    Posted by: Sandigal
    Date posted: Thu Mar 20 13:59:38 2008
    Message:

    I decided that I was going to wait until after Easter Break to take care of this, just to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt.  HOwever, when I got there to pick her up today, she told me that the boy took her chair and hit her in the stomach with it.  I was hopping mad!  So I marched right into the prinicipals office and told him what happened, showed him the mark, and demanded that he do something about it!  Teasing is one thing, hitting with chairs?  That boy needs some discipline!! 

    The principal called his house with me right there and got a machine.  He left a message that it is urgent that the parents respond to him immediately regarding their son.  He told me he'd let me know what happens and what steps they will take next to keep Em safe.  He also told me that he will speak to the sub, because even if she is new, she should have reported that.  He asked Emily if she told the teacher, and she said yes, but the teacher just told him to "be nice"...HELLOOOOO!!!!!

     

    So now I don't have to deal with this for a week...if it doesn't get better, I'm going to call those parents my damn self!


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    Posted by: DeeDee
    Date posted: Wed Mar 19 20:08:43 2008
    Message:

    1. Let the sub know what has been going on this year.  Ask her to take it seriously, for Emily's safety.

    2. I feel certain that her school as a 'No Bully' policy.  I don't know of any school that doesn't.  I would file a complaint through the principal so that it was on record. 

    We just went through this with my 13 year old getting bullied on the bus.  When she came home with grafitti up and down her arm I showed up on the principal's doorstep with pictures.  He was very fair and we told him that he could handle it or we would contact the police.  He handled it.  I am not sure what he did, but it worked! 

    I teach third grade and we take threats very seriously.  Don't let it continue.  Keep us updated!


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    Posted by: Paige
    Date posted: Wed Mar 19 17:19:27 2008
    Message:
    I would definitely do whatever it takes to nip it in the bud now. Experience has shown that this behavior usually does not stop on its own. I know everyone says to ignore the kid and it'll stop (and I have been known to say this to some of the ones I work with!), but the bully will usually do one of two things, either pick on another kid or push the limits even more with Em to get a reaction. If he knows that he's getting away with the behavior, he's only going to test the boundaries further and it could eventually lead to a physical altercation.

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    Posted by: Stella
    Date posted: Wed Mar 19 15:04:16 2008
    Message:
    You need to do whatever it takes to protect your child.  I would go and talk to the teacher personally.  She probably hears a lot of he said she said during the day and tends to tune it out.  Make her aware of the bullying and insist it stops.

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    Posted by: Indigo
    Date posted: Wed Mar 19 8:58:09 2008
    Message:

    I would go to the teacher first and let her know that this has been going on all year.  First of all, I cannot believe Em has had to put up with this.  The teacher should have stopped it, not help Em cope.  I was a teacher for 4 years and I had to deal with my share of bullys. It was not tolerated. If you feel satisfied the teacher will get this under control, I would leave it alone for the time being.  If any other incident arises I would head straight for the principal. 

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  • Good advice, thanks. Honestly, this poor sub spent one day with the teacher before she was thrown in head first, so I honestly don't feel she was given much preparation. The teacher's water broke that night, so she couldn't help her out any more. That's why I'm trying to be fair here, but if it's going to escalate to physical harm, then I'm not going to just sit back. Thanks! Sandigal

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