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GL Discussion Group
I'm feeling a bit blue today...
I go to meetings at Church with other moms...i'ts called MOM group (Meet other mothers) and they are great ladies...the problem is, Allison refuses to go with the sitters and screams the whole time, so I keep her with me. Then, I miss most of the meeting and end up being left out of all of the conversations. The whole point of me joining the group was to make friends, but I still feel left out. All the other moms are either related or have known each other for years, so their kids all go off with the others, or to Grandmas's or whatever.
I have no family nearby to watch Alli, and her only babysitter works a day job...I just hate not having family to help out. Or to visit with during the day so Alli gets to know them better. Talking on the phone isn't the same...I also miss being able to say "Hey, Mom, I'm bringing you some lunch" or "Going to the store Dad, do you guys need anything?" and helping to take care of them...
So I'm blue...what color are you?
When I was first home with a newborn, I felt so out of touch. I didn't even know what day of the week it was. All I did was sleep when the baby slept so I could stay sane.
As she got older, I was fortunate enough to live in a neighborhood that had a clubhouse (it was an old summer resort where people bought the cottages, winterized them and lived in them all year round because it was affordable) Every week we had a mothers and tots group. It was very large and eventually you gravitated toward the moms that you could relate to. I went to that every week, but also a bunch of us split off into a play group that met at each other's houses once a week. From there, I ended up joining a bowling league. The kids went in the bowling nursery while we bowled.
My husband played in a company softball league. I'd take the kids with me and visit with the other wives and their kids. If the children were behaving, we'd all go out en masse after the game to a bar (yeah, the kids went too) where we'd get a burger and eat with the Daddies in their uniforms.
But I was also lucky in that my husband was usually home every night and he'd take the kids if I wanted to do something. I later joined a bunko group that met once a month. I got involved in my church choir which rehearsed once a week and was always very lively. Once my kids got into school I volunteered at the library there and chatted with the librarian or other mom volunteers. I became a brownie leader, then a girl scout leader and got to be friends with co-leaders or moms of my scouts. I became a cub scout leader, a class mother, volunteered in the HS guidance department helping with college applications, and was the HS "band mom".
But Sandi, you have to ease into all these groups. I've seen too many young moms try to jump into all this before they , or their kids, are ready to be schlepped around. So take your time. Maybe take your little one to the local library for story hour and you'll meet other moms. Or take her to the "Y" for swim classes where you'll meet other moms. It'll happen.
By the time I had my kids, my mother and father-in-law had passed away, as had my own mother. And my dad lived 3,000 miles away. I had nobody to share the joys and frustrations of motherhood with. I spoke with my sister, but she had two small kids of her own, as did my sister in law. We never went away because we didn't have anyone in the family available (like grandparents) to take the kids for the weekend. And we survived. We finally went away for 3 days for our 10th anniversary. Actually, we didn't get to go until almost 11 years, but my brother and his wife took our 3 and they had 3 the same ages. The deal was, we'd do the same for them. Yeah. Sure. THey went away for 6 days and we had the 6 kids!, LOL. We only left ours with them for 3 days!
Hang in there, Sandi! This too shall pass
Oh, and Bauer? I've been working 2 straight weeks now. I don't know how you guys do it...work all day and then have to cook dinner, do laundry, etc. And all I have to take care of is a husband. No kids to clean up after.
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I hear ya...
We don't have anyone. Tom's barely speaking to his parents (they live in Canada), and mine are both deceased. We rarely (really rarely) ever hear from my brothers. So it's just me, my husband and our son.
I've tried the mom group thing, but the ones locally are made up mostly of stay-at-home moms or moms that work a couple of times a week. They're lonely because they're at home with their kids so they're looking for companionship with other adults.
But I can't identify with them (and vice versa) because I work full-time outside of the house. I have other mommy friends that work, but we're all too busy to get together often! When we have time with our kids, we don't want to share it getting to know other people and their kids.
And (on my soapbox for a minute here) I get a lot of backlash and stinging comments from some of my SAHM friends about working. Sorry I have to work to pay my bills and have health benefits for my child! My working full-time is not by choice, and I think it's sad that moms (working or SAHM) aren't more supportive of each other and the sacrifices we all make in the best interests of our children.
So I get lonely at times, too. When I get a moment to myself to think about it, that is!
Hang in there :) And you always have us to talk to (not that it's the same as having some face-to-face though).
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