Topic: Fan Fiction: Forgotten Vows (part 79 contonued)
Topic Posted by: Rizia
Date Posted: Mon Mar 26 8:26:31 2007
Additional Comments: Part 78 continued:
**** Climbing out of the bed, Ben wore his black night robe. He looked back at Meg, who was peacefully a sleep. Heading to the door, he shuts it very quietly so he didn’t disturb her. His gaze falls on the opposite room door and felt drawn to peek in and see if his kids and their mother were alright. He couldn’t seem to erase the expression on Maria’s face, the way she stared back at Benjie. He had to know what she was thinking.
Slowly opening the door to the studio room, Ben looked in. he could see Benji asleep at one side of the bed. He was confused; there was no Maria in the bed too. He walks up quietly closer to the bed and found Maria beside Benji with a pillow on the other empty side. He then noticed Maria’s painting on the swing wearing her white dress. It sat on the painting stand on its back. Walking up to it he turns the painting facing him again as he observed it. “what are you doing hiding?” Ben asked the painting as the memories flooded back what Maria said to Meg:
“it was you who told me that Ben smashed my painting. It was you who told me that Ben hates me. It was you who told me Ben started to hate my memories.”
He then remembers what she mentioned to him:
“I’m not worried about Benji destroying it Ben, I know he will never do anything to hurt me, I’m just worried what you might to it.”
He sighs realising it was Maria whom placed the painting at the back. It hurt her to see it. Turning back to head to the door he noticed the framed picture that rested on top of the draws that was also faced down. Facing it again Ben looked back at the family picture his brother took with Maria and Benji. The period when she conceived Maria. “oh no!” Ben lets out and quickly walks out of the room heading down to the stair case.
He found her on the long sofa sitting in the dark. One lamp was only switched on to lighten the room a little. “Maria,” he calls her in a quiet tone. He saw her shake up and look back at him in shock and scared. “Ben, you scared me,” Maria informs him. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, what are you doing up still?” he asked coming in front of her. “I em…” she pauses as she eyed Ben for a few seconds. “I couldn’t sleep,” Maria answers. “what are you doing up?” “couldn’t sleep either,” he replies and sits beside her, while she kept her gaze down. “you okay?” he asked her.
“yeah I’m fine. Are you?” Ben nods his head as they both eyed each other searching through the emotions that filled them. “I felt something tonight,” she tells him, he could see her expression changing to hope. “what’s that?” Ben was keen to know. “I felt something for Benji,” Maria states. “for the first time since Benji has entered our life I felt this bond towards him. Like a connection I’ve never felt before,” Maria continues to describe while Ben only eyes her wondering should he tell her the truth. Then he remembers what Dr Estrada said, he couldn’t risk Maria’s health. “I can’t explain it but…” she pauses as she laughs at the thought. “go on?” Ben encouraged her to speak up while she looked back him admiring his eyes. The eyes that made her be lost forever in him and still has the same effect on her. “it felt as though when I looked into Benji’s eyes, my eyes were looking back at me,” Maria says, while the look on the Bens face told her it was nothing new to him. “you think its crazy don’t you?” Maria implies. “no,” Ben shakes his head. “but then…” he could see she was confused and didn’t know what to believe as she remembers what Tess told her and Derek too in the basement in Liberty street. “but then everything Tess and Derek said to us, why would they lie and she showed me proof of her being pregnant,” Maria tries to convince herself and gets up from the sofa and walks around, while Ben watched her.
“but then how do I know they didn’t forge that picture and make me believe that’s the real truth. And what I don’t understand is, during my time in Seattle, when would she’d been pregnant when she kept prisoner all those years, unless…” Ben could see the tears filling her eyes at the thought. “unless the prey was pregnant,” Maria suggests. “but then I can’t forget what I was told and yet Benji just reminds me of Antonio and how he looked,” he could see she was getting frustrated.
She eyed Ben strangely. “you know something don’t you?” Maria confronts Ben. “you know something about my past.” Ben remains quiet and only eyes her. “yeah I do,” Ben finally answers as Maria eyes widens in curiosity. “what, what do you know about past Ben, please tell me,” she pleads coming closer to him as Ben stands on his feet. “please English, please tell me what you know.” “I can’t,” Ben reveals while he watched the hurt expression appear on her face as tears clouded her eyes. He knew it hurt her, the thought of Ben keeping her in the dark. She had a confused rejected frown on forehead.
What do you mean you can’t?” she was confused and her voice cracked to a whisper as the tears poured down her cheeks. “its my life Ben. I have more rights to know then you, what are you keeping from me?” she cried the thought if being shut out. “Maria you have to remember by yourself. Dr Estrada wants you to remember on your own and I have to respect her decision and what’s best for you,” Ben explains. “and I don’t know what’s best for me, is that what you are saying?” Maria questioned. He shook his head, how can he tell her she’s not well, that she’s going through post traumatic stress disorder. “please Ben you have to tell me what you know about my past. About Benji,” Maria pleads again as tears dribbles down her cheeks more. “Maria don’t do this,” Ben asks her.
“you can’t tell me or you won’t?” she asked Ben wanting to know. “both,” Ben replies as he watches her face crumble. “okay, but what if I never remember the truth Ben what then are you going to keep the truth for me forever, for the rest of my life. Because I haven’t remembered Ben and I don’t think I ever will so what then?” Maria weeps. He wish he had the answers to her questions, but he didn’t. “you will in time, it will come back to you,” Ben suggest. “and what if it doesn’t?” she asked him.
“and its not, I know its not because I’ve done something so terrible that I have completely erased it from my mind blocking it and not want to remember what I’ve done,” she was becoming hysterical. “Maria no,” he comes closer towards her. “and now you know the truth and you not going to tell me because its so dreadful and you feel you have to protect me from the truth because I won’t be able to live with it…” she couldn’t say no more as she burst into sobbing while Ben quickly takes her in his arms covering her face on his shoulder to calm her down.
“please don’t hate me,” Maria cries. “I don’t hate you Maria,” Ben remind her and strokes her brown hair. “sshhh… its okay, everything’s going to be okay,” he assures her. She quickly embraces from Bens arms and wipes her tears. “I’m tired, I have to check on Mariah,” she says and heads up the stairs…
