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Young And The Restless Discussion Group
Do You Think People Ever Really Change???
No. - I don't.
Now, I will not lie - Ive been a bit Down in the Dumps lately, but I don't want this to be misunderstood as reactionary speculation to a gloomy stretch.
Ive always thought this. And I wonder if others do too.
See...Here is How I See It:
Its only the THINGS/OUTLETS/CAUSES AND REASONS that change. Not us.
When we are kids...we say hurtful things and hateful things and gossip by passing notes and at recess on the play ground and in the cafeteria at lunch.
When we are older...we say hurtful and hateful things and gossip in the nursing home and at church and on the internet and in the checkout line at the grocery store.
When we're kids...we cheat on our test and our curfew...When older, on our taxes and spouses.
When we're kids, we are obsessed by material things and our toys...stuffed animals and video games and model airplanes and dolls.
When we're adults we obsess over material things and our toys that are our cars and houses and laptops and other stuff.
When we're kids we worry about if so and so likes us - When we're adults we worry about if so and so loves us.
We worry, as kids, if we passed out test....Or, as adults, if we got the job.
But we worry still.
It makes me sad. :(
But...I do so still see kindness in folks. Im just sayin...
Chris/pt
I love your very realistic and very true post! I agree with you - people do not change. I think that certain events or situations can affect us in many deep, emotional ways, and that may give us a new edge or a different take on things. Some occurrences - both positive and negative ones - help make us smarter and less naive....more cautious about people who cannot be trusted. Some things certainly make us stronger and/or more tolerant. However, our personality, foundation, beliefs, values, and ways of life do not change.
I only wish the current Daytime writers remembered this when plotting story!
Of course we change and I believe people are basically moved toward mental health, with the exception of those with personality disorders (a minority of the population.
When we are children, adolescents and young adults we do and say thinks that are wrong or hurtful but we learn better--usually when the hurt happens to us. With each experience we grow and we can choose to get bitter or better and we (hopefully) learn to treat people as we would want them to treat us.
I think there are two kinds of people in the world--those who teach us how to act and those who teach us how not to act.
Wow, how dismal. Of course people can (and do!) change. Otherwise, therapy would not help, various dependencies could not be corrected . . . And we would not, from time to time, be faced with experiences that challenge our belief systems to the point of updating our opinions.
Sorry you're blue, but it sounds like a dose of volunteering for the less fortunate might help. You might see someone in need who used to be someone of means - you can ask them if their priorities have changed with experience.
Good grief. Imagine a world where everyone stayed the same . . . what would be the point?
If Y&R is any indication, then no. We've seen TGVN, Nikki, Jack, Assley, Gloworm, and lots more make the same mistakes and engage in the same dysfunctional behavior over and over and over again.
Sorry you're feeling low, Chris.
Sorry, yall. This should have been on the YR Personal Topics Page here, not here - my mistake.
chris