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Y&R Discussion Group
We are sending her to a learning center; it has helped but not enough. She actually made the honor last quarter, but it was not easy at all. The only reason she made it was because there were no finals or big tests for 3rd quarter. She got 6 F's on her 1st semester finals. Recently she has come home with C's, D's, & an F on tests she has taken. It seems the problem is her oral and reading comprehension.
She does not qualify for an IEP; but does have a 504 plan. That isn't really isn't helping her though. The 504 is just a bunch of accommodations. It isn't helping her catch up. The school thinks holding her back is not the answer; but they don't have an answer for us. If we do hold her back we would send her to the Catholic school; just so she isn't bored with the same curriculum again. And it might save her some embarrassment; even though I don't think that her friends would make fun of her. She is very well liked. She is totally ok with going to the Catholic school. She has quite a few friends and relatives who go there.
I have been trying to find stories about parents who did hold their child back and were glad that they did it. So if anyone has done this or knows someone who has, I would really appreciate hearing from you. Thanks!
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I wrote a long post last night that didn't go through.
I'm not quite sure how it is done in the states, children are not held back a grade in Israel anymore (I'm excluding kindergarden, that's quite common), I do wonder whether she's been properly eveluated, whether she has learning disabilities, and what are the accomodations she is given in school.
I mean, I know there are all kinds of options for children with specific learning disabilities - having a teacher read out their tests for them, answer orally, type their answer - depends on the problem.
If you feel like she only needs more time to digest this year material, than maybe repeating the year the solution for her. However, if her problems are such that she will run into the exact same wall in grade 7, maybe you should look for another solution.
cindy, i work at a catholic school and i can tell you the kids i have had transfer over to repeat a grade, even in middle school, have had much success. part of the key is the attitude of both child and parents. i've had a few come over for the same reason as you and in the end, it has worked great for the kids. again, it's because of the parents' attitude and making it a positive change.
as long as she knows, and it sounds like it already, that it isn't a punishment, but more of a fresh start to start over and succeed. i caution you that catholic schools are not equipped, like public schools, with special resources. make sure your catholic school will work with you on the 504 as well. that shouldn't be a problem.
sometimes just the change in environment and kids makes a world of difference. and she can proceed to be a leader in the class.
Our daughter and husband held back our grandson from beginning kindergarten until he was 6. My daughter just wanted him to be a litte older when he finished high school. LOL
Fast forward to 2008: Our grandson is now a student at Texas A&M.
The Catholic school systems are great!! She'll love it. Best wishes to her and to you too.
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We held me son back in first grade. It made a world of difference for the problems he was having. They actually put him back into kkindergarten for the last two months of the year, then he advanced with those kids.
We are debating holding my daughter back this year. She is in 5th grade and like your daughter is really struggling. They are adopted, and when they came to us she was in kindergarten. She was way behind, we found out during the 3rd quarter she was not learning anything, she was copying the papers of the kids around her. That teacher was 'too busy' to catch her up so we did it at home. She does have an IEP, with accomodations also, but like you have seen the accommodations are not fixing the issues, just helping her slip by. We had to spend literally all last weekend focusing her on math. She 'gave up' two weeks ago and just stopped turning in her assignments. The teacher, of course, emailed us and asked us to get her caught up because their attempts to do it during classtime we just keeping her from learning the new material. The school of course feels she is getting by and that should be enough, we see her falling further and further behind and she won't ask for help or tell them she is having problems and hides it.......
Cindy G, Good Luck with your decision, I know it's a hard one when it's left up to the parent. We held my son back when he was in the 2nd grade. He needed eyeglasses but somehow this had slipped through the cracks. By the time we discovered what the problem was, he had already missed a great deal. Technically, his grades were good enough to pass, according to state guidelines and his teacher told us, that without our intervening, he would pass.
Well, I didn't want him to spend the next 10 years, trying to catch up and I saw the kinds of books that other kids his age were reading (a couple of nephews and some friends' kids). He just was NOWHERE NEAR being able to handle these kinds of books so we decided to hold him back. He was a little upset at first because he wouldn't be going on with his friends but that 2nd year was so much different from the one before...like day and night. He was able to keep up and wasn't frustrated as he had been before.
He's 18 now and a highschool jr. He's not going to be the valedictorian or anything like that, lol but he does very well and has ever since then. He plans to enter college after graduation, next year and major in criminal justice. Best of luck to your daughter!!!!
I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter's troubles. I can relate to what you're going through, in a way. Both of my daughters are in special ed, each for a different reason. One of them is disabled from strokes she had a few years ago, and the other one is on the autism spectrum.
One thing I can tell you from my own experiences is: Trust your instincts. Mothers have instincts for a reason. You know your daughter better than anybody, and if you feel that this is the right decision for her, then you have to follow your gut. Giving her a refresher course next year may be just the thing to help her in the areas she's been struggling. The worst thing that can happen is she'll graduate from high school a year later. Big deal!
My daughter Erin will be repeating the 1st Grade again in September, because she was out of school for most of the school year because of health issues. She did have teachers come to the house every afternoon, but it was only for 2 hours, and there were a lot of times they couldn't come. So she really wasn't able to keep up with the rest of her class. The school suggested that she repeat the first grade next year, but if they didn't, I would have insisted on it myself.
Good luck with your daughter, and keep us posted. I know how hard this must be for you, but you're doing a great job and doing everything you can possibly do for her. She's going to be just fine, because she has a great mom to help her along. (HUGS)
Cindy G, I know this situation must tug on your heart but it sounds to me like you're on top of things. Since your daughter seems okay with attending a different school, I think that's half the battle. The change of scene might be just the thing for her.
A friend from my former church held her daughter back in kindergarten. This girl was born prematurely and had some of the learning issues that often go along with that. For several years after that she kept telling her mom how much she wished she could be back with her regular class. My friend decided to home-school her daughter for a year, then have her tested to see where she stood. After all that personal attention, this girl was actually ahead of the game and integrated back into her regular class in middle school with no problem. She's now attending college and doing well. I hope this gives you a little encouragement.
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