Topic: Talking to people who have children worse off than yours.
Topic Posted by: Cindy G
Date Posted: Thu May 8 13:26:02 2008
Additional Comments: I can't believe this but, ironically 2 of the people that are involved with possibly getting our daughter the help she needs, both have children that are severely mentally challenged. It feels so (for lack of a better word) awkward to discuss my daughter's problems with them, when I know their children's problems are so much worse. One person is a parent on the school board. A special education teacher my daughter had when she had her IEP referred us to her. And the other is the superintendent of the school district. We ware having a meeting with him, the assistant superintendent, the director of special education and the principal of her school on Monday. I really hope they come up with a solution to help my daughter, so she doesn't have to struggle through her next 5 years of school.
Posted by: Mz Chris Date posted: Thu May 8 18:35:51 2008
Message:
Look at it as a gift! These folks have probably been thru the wringer trying to get services for their children. They know the ins and outs, and the cast of characters you have to deal with. It can only help, and if they weren't interested in helping others get the best possible for their children from the system they wouldn't have been referred to you. We had the best friend of our school's superintendant get involved with our kids at on point, and the superintendent is someone you want on your side .... at their word things will be done for your child, even when the principle and special ed people are presenting you with a solid brick wall ...........
Here is my best piece of advice, which we only learned because we somehow also managed to get a county advocate for special needs kids involved at one point. If you get them to agree to write an IEP for your daughter they have to write it to satisfy YOU. If you do not feel it is adequate you do not have to sign it and they will have to modify it. That is one of your rights.
Posted by: Peridot Date posted: Thu May 8 15:15:05 2008
Message: Cindy, it looks to me like you have a wonderful open door to get your daughter the help she needs. I agree with DebS, the folks you mentioned not only have the professional expertise, but are uniquely suited to help you since they've "been there" as parents themselves. I wish you all the best!
Posted by: Megan Date posted: Thu May 8 15:12:01 2008
Message: I don't have children with disabilities, but I do teach a diversity class for the helping professions. I'd say don't feel bad, as I'm sure you and these other parents love and cherish your children for the gifts they DO have. Another thing to keep in mind is that assessing the level of disability is somewhat in the eye of the beholder. Maybe they don't think of their children/child as worse off than others, they probably just deal with what comes. Finally, it seems that people who are disadvantaged in some way who end up doing as well as possible are raised in families who don't feel sorry for them, these families keep as positive outlook as possible and help the child cope with the real world (or help the real world cope with the child).
Posted by: DebS Date posted: Thu May 8 14:28:14 2008
Message: Well maybe because they are in a worse position than you, they'll be able to help you more? I mean, they must have gone through similiar situations as you, so they probably have some good advice, in addition to what their professional training has given them.
